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Post by Edward Cullen on Feb 11, 2009 16:41:25 GMT -8
Edward felt a small squeeze in his palm; most vampires, what with their stone skin, wouldn't feel it; but he was so attuned to Bella and her frailty and delicate-ness that he felt it. He lightly squeezed back. He knew what she was thinking, not literally though, but she always tried to reassure him that she would never be stolen away by anyone, and that she would always stay by his side, no matter what. And she preferred to stay near him as someone like him, namely a vampire. Bella would not stop trying to convince him to change her, or let Carlisle or Alice do it. She was so desperate it was comical, at the same time as being horribly painful for Edward to stand. She didn't know what she was asking to become, and what she would have to deal with to become what she wanted.
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Post by Bella Swan on Feb 11, 2009 22:07:08 GMT -8
Bella felt Edward squeeze her hand back, and she smiled, her mouth full of shrimp and noodles, some of them even hanging out of her mouth. She hurried and slurped them up, and whiped her face with a napkin as her cheeks flushed, unable to look at Edward because she knew that he'd seen the whole thing.
She glanced sideways at him anyway.
He was looking right at her! Though the look on his face suggested more of a contemplative look, rather than amusement.
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Post by Edward Cullen on Feb 20, 2009 18:11:41 GMT -8
Edward saw Bella's suprised look as she noticed him looking at her. He tilted his head in confusion; he always looked at her that way, as he was trying to read what she was thinking. Whatever she was thinking was very important, more so than she wanted to let on. Edward wanted to ask her what was really on her mind... but she didn't like that, so he would refrain. No matter how much it burned.
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Post by Bella Swan on Feb 20, 2009 20:36:42 GMT -8
Bella smiled at Edward, and pushed her plate away to the side. "What are you thinking about?" she asked him. She wasn't sure wether he would answer her truthefully, or even at all, but she decided to ask anyway.
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Post by Edward Cullen on Mar 7, 2009 20:27:07 GMT -8
Edward tilted his lip slightly, deciding if he was going to tell Bella. He sighed. "I want to know what you are thinking. Honestly, it's killing me." He bore his eyes into her deep brown ones.
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Post by Bella Swan on Mar 8, 2009 18:42:48 GMT -8
Bella smiled at him softly. "Just thinking about how lucky I am," she said, looking at Edward.
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Post by Edward Cullen on Mar 13, 2009 17:39:23 GMT -8
Edward looked at her. "You're lucky to be with a monster, something not human, who could at any moment lose his control and likely hurt you? Hardly lucky..." he raised his eyebrows, slightly grimacing.
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Post by Bella Swan on Mar 13, 2009 19:49:54 GMT -8
Bella turned so that she was facing Edward more directly, and she squeazed his hand. Harder this time. She knew that to him, the difference in her pressures would hardly be distinguishable, but she did anyway.
"Edward," she said, catching his eyes with her own. "You are not a monster. And I know that you would never hurt me." Bella said quietly, rubbing her thumb over Edward's fingers.
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Post by Edward Cullen on Mar 30, 2009 16:25:13 GMT -8
Edward looked down and watched Bella's finger trace his, and sighed. "I would never hurt you... inentionally. But I'm so much stronger than you. I am not human, Bella. You can't ever forget that." He felt so unhappy with himself. It was supposed to be a nice, happy dinner, and he was ruining it with hs sour and dark attitude. He tried to talk lighter, and brighten the mood of the heavy cloud that hung over their heads. Trying to smile, he said, "But, I'm not going anywhere. I will stay here with you, of course."
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Post by Bella Swan on Mar 31, 2009 17:25:01 GMT -8
"You won't hurt me," Bella said again, meaningfully, eyes on his face. "And I will be like you, Edward. Then you won't have to worry about it anymore."
Bella knew, that Edward didn't want her to be a vampire. But he had promised. And she wanted so badly to be a vampire. To be like Edward and his family. To spend forever with the one that she loved.
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Post by Edward Cullen on Apr 8, 2009 16:36:18 GMT -8
"Turning you will hurt you, love. The pain is unbearable, and the thought of me causing you that pain might kill me. I can't hurt you..." He gave a painful look. "But, I did promise I would give you what you wanted... But there is plenty of time."
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Post by Bella Swan on Apr 9, 2009 19:51:14 GMT -8
"And I'm prepared for the pain. I will go through anything to be with you. Forever." She looked down at their hands, together. At the differences between the shade of their skin. Hers pale, for a human, but Edward's even paler.
She didn't look up as she spoke again. "There isn't plenty of time, Edward. Every day, I get older." she said it quietly, not sure if Edward knew what she meant.
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Post by Edward Cullen on May 22, 2009 9:31:27 GMT -8
"Remember... when I was almost too late, when James attacked you? When he bit you..." Edward didn't want to keep bringing up painful past memories, but he wanted her to realize something. He stopped for a moment, gathering himself. "That fire you felt... that was only a portion of what changing will feel like. I can't let that happen to you again, much less allow, or even cause, a worse pain that what you felt." He swallowed. "I know you don't think that I will stay with you, even when you get older, but I could never part from you. I tried once, and I felt near-death, like I was mindless and nothing had a point, and my heart had been ripped out. I can't leave you, and I won't inflict terrible pain upon you, so I have only one choice." He furrowed his eyebrows together, and closed his darkening tawny eyes.
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Post by Bella Swan on May 23, 2009 23:20:19 GMT -8
Bella turned her head sharply towards him. "I know that I would have to go through pain worse than that to be like you. I know that it could drive me insane, or that it could very well be the worst pain that I will ever feel, but I will do it. I will do it to be with you. And if you won't be the one to do it, then I'll ask Carlisle."
She felt her eyes sting, and she turned her face away from Edward, and looked at the floor on the opposing side of the table. She wouldn't let herself cry. She wouldn't....
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Post by Edward Cullen on May 25, 2009 9:22:45 GMT -8
Edward stood up lightly from the table, so as to not disturb nearby people eating, and went to Bella's side of the table, and kneeled beside her. "I'm sorry I've upset you." He despised himself when he was the cause of her pain and tears. "We've talked about this so much, and yet it gets us nowhere but here." He choked out. Vampires can't cry; all that comes out is a painful gasp. But Bella didn't know that. Did he seem insensitive that he couldn't express his pain the way she did? He stared at Bella's tearing eyes, the lines of saltiness running down her pale cheeks, and looked away. Why couldn't he be human?
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